According to a recent survey, most engaged couples or newlyweds found wedding planning stressful. Experts argue that a wedding is one of the major life transitions like finding a new job.
Therefore, it is normal to experience episodes of identity shifts or a sense of loss of who you are. Wedding planning is even more stressful because while you struggle with confusion, everyone will be watching you and expects you to remain the happiest you’ve ever been.
Another aspect of wedding planning that could take a toll on you is choosing bridesmaids. You may feel obliged to pick on certain people because you previously promised them a slot on your big day or because they included you in their wedding, or maybe you may feel obliged to consider someone due to pressure from the family. Whatever the reason, here are the key questions to guide you into picking a bridesmaid’s perfect fit for your big day.
- Are They Drama Free?
The last thing you wish to experience on your big day is unnecessary drama. A bridesmaid has an honorable duty, so you don’t just ask anyone to take it up. It also comes with many responsibilities; you don’t want to abuse your authority and make it hard for your bridesmaid to perform her duties.
Ahead of your big day, you also wish to pick on someone who’d make a bridal party a true success. Bridal parties will cost you time and money, so ensure you get it right from the beginning.
Going by several less than savory experiences people have had with bridesmaids, you can conclude that not everyone fits this role. There are some, no matter how much you know them may turn out to be unsupportive, uncooperative, and uncouth.
Drunken bridesmaids, wanna-be brides, fickle sisters, negative friends, and the dress mess, among others, might not make a great bridesmaid. Look for someone honest, calm, reliable, available to help you de-stress, and who does not seek attention for themselves.
- Do You Want a Traditional Bridal Party?
Bridal parties are meant to help you get ready for your big day. The primary activities on this occasion include taking photos with your bridal crew and planning other pre-wedding events like bridal showers and bachelorette and bachelor parties.
Perhaps you may be accustomed to traditional bridal parties where things must be done in a specific way. But if you have a large group of friends and family and would never wish to leave anyone out, or maybe you have a male best friend you want to be part of, you may need to go against the traditional bridal party rules to accommodate more people.
Give shout-outs to your besties, cousins, and siblings to let them know that they mean the world to you. You can also go past the norm by asking your special people to adorn specific colors to stand out at the wedding. Set aside a night before your wedding dinner to meet your special people.
Traditionally, you may be required to have a rehearsal dinner the night before your wedding, where groomsmen and bridesmaids will do a walk-through. Instead, do the prep ceremony on your own, then join your special people for an intimate time.
- Do You See Them in Your Life for 10, 20 Years, or More?
There is no unspoken rule of how you should choose your bridesmaids. But picking people who will disappear from your life after a while might not make sense. As a form of wedding etiquette, starting with your immediate family is best.
This may include your siblings or cousins. If your immediate family is too young, consider them for a flower girl or junior bridesmaid role. Choose responsible bridesmaids, go beyond gender stereotypes, and be mindful of their financial situation.
- Can They Commit Time and Money?
As mentioned earlier, planning a wedding will cost you time and money. The last thing you’d want to have ahead of your big day is an absentee bridesmaid who can hardly stick by your side during the planning and the actual day.
Traditionally, bridesmaids are supposed to pay their way. Costs can be even higher to dress the part and have other needs met, such as bridal shower expenses, bachelorette party expenses, wedding day gifts, travel and accommodation bookings. You’ll also need to factor in additional costs if you decide to follow trends for the wedding season it’s scheduled in.
For example, champagne bridesmaid dresses and accessories are a popular style choice and color scheme in recent years, choose the bridesmaid dress designer or supplier carefully and you might still be able to enjoy those trends without it putting you over budget. Also, if some bridesmaids are having trouble with affording their participation, encourage them to share travel costs and hotels and create a plan with others that are probably willing, because who doesn’t love to save money?
Start with your siblings. There is nothing wrong with making your sister a groom’s lady. Emphasize reliability, as there will be times when you need to be sure you can count on your bride’s team. Know their personalities. Before you send that invitation, ensure that you are sending it to someone you get along with.